FUSIATIFTPQ Part Deux: "When do you feel most like yourself?"

Feeling Uninspired So I Asked The Internet For Thought Provoking Questions: Part Two! (that abbreviation is not catchy :( )

Maybe you can remember that a while ago, I hadn't written anything for a while and I was feeling a bit bleh and so this happened. And... well... it did again.

TODAY'S GOOGLED THOUGHT PROVOKING QUESTION:
When do you feel most like yourself?

I read this and for some reason I thought straight away the answer was being stuffed between sweaty bodies at concerts, singing along and feeling all swept away, other people's spilt beer sticking to my shoes. And then I reconsidered, because although that's my favourite part of myself to be and the one that comes easiest, it's not the one that I am the most of the time.

I came up with a lot of things - when I'm with the group of eight or so of my friends that talk in the cloakroom at school every morning, and then the less tight-knitted group of about twenty I'm with at the bottom of the fields at lunch time. I'm someone else fighting with my parents than around my mother when I tell her about my day, when I listen to music with my dad in the car and we sing along. If I'm alone with someone, I like to think I try to cater to the things they want to talk about as well as myself, but my favourite people have enough in common with me than we don't have to, or I'm comfortable enough with to know that they can listen to me talking about what I care about.

And then I came to the obvious idea that we are "our real selves" when we are completley alone. Maybe that's true. It could be that the second we do, or even just think something we wouldn't necessarily want other people to know about, it stains who we are and becomes a part of us. I think we take it in turns to mask and unveil the bits of us that we need to show or to cover in the situation. Ultimately, I think every conversation we have is because we want to loosely gain something from it, and that could be anything from an information, employment, a sandwich or just to be brought closer to someone and find common grounds. We can pull out different ways of speaking, different interests and overall, entirely different people we want to be.

Although we could probably assume we're most ourselves left alone with nothing to prove to anyone, I don't think that's entirely true. Because the way we are around other people and how we react to things are what forms us. If I the things I do alone were what I did all of the time, all I would do is read and sometimes write, watch videos on the internet, listen to music antisocially outside at night time and occasionally drink heavily and cry. And without just sounding like I'm trying to escape that but I'm glad that isn't my entire personality. Being stupid and lighthearted around my friends and polite around my teachers and generally a mixture of everything/just awful around my parents is what makes me a person.

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I wrote something for Drabble Day Challenge again and I don't know how I feel about this:

"GARDEN"
The alarm went off at half past twelve.
He opened and closed his eyes once or twice, fighting the magnetic tug between his eyelids and yawned once, reluctantly flicking on the light. His clothes to dress into were where he’d left them, with his good-grip shoes and winter coat.
There’d be other boys when he got to Daisy’s house, out down the street, in the cold , and they’d climbed over the tall fence faster, with less struggle than him.
Then, imagining the winter and the elbows digging into his sides he thought, tomorrow night, and he slid back into the warmth of his bed.

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As usual, thank you for coming and I'll see you next week :)

Lizzie