Hello! It’s Wednesday today, but my internet connection’s being sort of crazy today and so this probably won’t get posted until tomorrow. I could be wrong.
I’ve had a pretty weird few days – partly because of the complete change to my routine, and although I was just eager for anything away from school it was still harder to nestle into than I thought. I’m working at an independent book store, which functions as a café and also sells maps and music (it’s one of the last record stores in my town, and it’s barely even one of those!). One of the weird things is the complete change in the people that I spend almost a third of my waking part of the day with, and I probably consider them new friends.
Things go like this at the moment:
Wake up, dress and things
Cycle into town, then eat breakfast in Costa with Madison
Go to work at the bookstore
Leave for lunch, wander, read travel guides in the library
Work
Finish. Go for coffee with friends, or to a movie, or walk somewhere. Not have to think about what I’ve spent all day doing.
Sleep.
I was starting to feel relaxed and nicely disconnected from the things I do all of the time, even away from my usual methods of escapism, like concerts and the internet.
And then yesterday after I got home, two really crappy things happened within about an hour of each other, and it was like waking up on a lilo and being simultaneously punched in the face from both sides.
I suddenly felt really useless and small. So I went for a bike ride by the lake by myself for a while and took Imogen Heap and Noah and the Whale with me, and instead of moping around ignoring the cause like I usually do I thought about it directly and how sad and angry it was making me and whether or not it was my fault, and that made it better than just lying in bed. And I still kind of have that horrible weight in my chest, but I think that’s probably because I haven’t really talked about it yet, and I’ll probably call up Poppy or Emily sometime soon. There’s just going to be some really tough days in this next week so I apologize in advance if I get ranty on here.
Yesterday I turned off my phone and my computer, so I’m sorry I didn’t reply to your email Beth! And, having said that, anyone else who I’ve been ignoring. It isn’t your fault, I just have grumpy spells.
Sorry for just spending an entire post dropping mysterious hints about my personal life, I know it’s selfish and I’ll write something worthwhile soon because I know I haven’t been doing.
On a positive note, Zoe was fired on The Apprentice! (I guess one person's sadness is another's happiness)
The Hummingbird Bakery are coming to work!
I got a pretty shirt from Etsy today!
It's been sunny outside!
Isn't that worth keeping going?
Also I wanted to leave you something that didn't make reading this a waste of time.
This is "Alpha Shadows" by Laura Marling. -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JleuVxIlWaM
It is beauty.
I started listening to her a few months ago, and my love for her is complicated for some of the silliest reasons. I'll probably talk about that soon. But there's no denying Laura Marling's music has had a huge effect on my life in the last month or so.
(sorry that link was at the side. I couldn't make it do anything else, blogger is messed up today).
K. I'll see you next week and sorry for being annoying.
Lizzie
No comments:
Post a Comment