Prayers

I just watched Eat, Pray, Love, and though it wasn't exactly excellent it did make me think a lot, firstly about how much I want to travel. I'm pretty lucky because for my age I've been to a lot of places, both with my family and on school trips; within the last five years or so I've been to Florida, Turkey, Kenya, Brussles, Paris, and more. But I've always been somehow restricted with the people I was with, and that's bugged me a little.

The other thing it had a lot of connotations to was religion. And this is always something I've been hesitant to talk about here, along with a few other topics just because of the worry that any of my opinions will offend someone, somewhere, somehow.
Meh.

Up until a few months ago, I was 100% athiest and wouldn't be disagreed with. So is my dad, and my mum, though I think she'd like to believe in a God of some sort, is the same, and in fact most of the people around me. My best friend, however, is a pretty liberal Protestant and we've only once really debated these things.
I wouldn't say I really had a "conversion experience", but it was in RE class, (cliched I know) that I decided to open my mind a little more. I don't know why but my mind had drifted off from what the teacher was saying, and it was hot and dark in there, and I started to think about Heaven, and it first occured to me that it compared to this idea in my head I have of a "happy place". I talked about this to a friend recently, and my happy place is this park in Berlin I saw a picture of one time, a picnic in the evening with all of the people I love.
It just occured to me that maybe Heaven can be that. And that didn't make me believe suddenly in God, but for the first time I started to think that I might want to.

I've also sort of prayed, though I don't really count it, once of twice. I have a notebook I keep at my bedside which I've titled "Letters To Nobody", and whenever I'm in one of those moods where I have to express something to someone which I could never really say, maybe they've made me secretly angry or it's someone I don't know well that's made me think a lot.
It's heartfelt love letters, apologies to friends, rants at strangers, hate mail to celebrities and, sometimes, letters to God, whoever that is.
I don't think I really believed it'd come to anything, but once or twice when I felt I've really, really needed something (things you'd think were silly, like the need to go to the Royal Albert Hall) I've "written to God" in vain hope that somehow it'd work. And I'm fairly sure I have almost no belief still but I'm a little more agnostic than I once was. It's nice, feeling like maybe someone wants good things to happen to me.
I did end up going to the Royal Albert Hall, as you know. Make what you want of that.

- Lizzie

In relation to that thing down there, I apologise for the silence yesterday, but my internet was down. I suppose I'll go one day into March or something.